Category: Game Parlor
This is a continue the story game with an interesting twist. The only rule is that you have to take the story in an intirely different direction. Use the example. Person one:
A vampire is walking through a forest. He is worried that he won't find his next target before being exploded by the sun. Person two:
Suddenly, he is braught through time from the year 1930 to the year 2100. Have fun.
it's dark night and full moon. lots of People work all day. but not only People work. also robots are helping the People. they are like human beings but have no blood of course. but one of those robots, named Z2000paranormal is specializing in hhunting for ghosts and vampires. his weappons are silver municion and a wooden block which he tries to stick into the vampire's heart. the Vampire trys to follow and bite the Robot to destroy him.
The robot accidently lands on a trampaleen and is thrusted 60 miles into the air. There among the whispy clouds, the robot approaches the grand entrence of an enormous palace.
suddenly the palace exploded and everything died the end...
but wait....
people thought it was the end but all of a sudden for miles around all you could see were furious red and yellow dinosaurs
the dinosaurs were doing the hoola and singing "deee dee dah dah fee doo foo la lalalala mee mee mee mee"
they were also drinking doctor pepper and eating sausage rolls
the dinosaurs were obviously having a party of some sort, but no one knew what for
so somebody decided to ask them. they said "we are celebrating the flight of the golden banana slug, a very rare and special occasion."
at the mention of the banana slug, it started to rain.
not just any old rain, oh not.
it started to rain bananas!
their were red ripe bananas, blue unripe ones, bananas as big as texas and as small as a new born baby
their were bananas of all diffrent shapes and sizes everywhere
In a tiny unnoticed insignifigant atom on one of the bananas existed a trillian galaxies one of which contained a strange otter-shaped planet by the name of...uh...um...otter! Yes. That should stick? On otter planet lived one talking head, who constantly blathered on to itself all gron long. What is gron? Well, its not a day, and its not a night, but its certainly a fright!
the talking head was telling this very story, and creating a big old paradox.
the talking head had once belonged to a crocodile who lived far under the ocean, but now, with all these bananas raining down, the croc decided to visit the surface
The crock surfaced only to realize his home was actually the saliva of daffy duck.
Daffy duck woke up to Mini Mouse beltching a classy fart... Yep, beltching a fart to witch Micky Mouse passed out to the air from both ends that smelt like cheese.
suddenly, the earth shook and there was a huge earthquake. mass chaos ensued.
Out of nowhere, came the sound of polka music. Five quaker men and 9 quaker women began dancing to it expertly. They laughed and whooped good naturedly then sat down to a game of whist, at which everyone cheated.
then the news came on and the reporter said, that tomorrow is national sausage roll day, and everyone had to be dressed up as a sausage to take part in the sausage olympics, a series of games involving sausages
"Sausages! MMM!"
Exclaimed a 500 year old baby who for some reason could not pronounce the letter s without whistling for 5 minutes before completing the word. It crawled through the rubble created by the horrible earthquake passing the cheatin card players towards a makeshift catapolt half buried in the earth. Sticking its head in like an ostrage, it pulled out the contraption and tied itself to it by its diaper, which at this time, just happened to be full of cotton candy.
the cotton candy was the last cotton candy on earth
ever since the massive fun fair destruction in 1986, it had been hard to come across
and this cotton candy, all though no-one knew it, contained a legendary treasure that the Pirates of OLDdddDDDdddDDDddd had been looking for for years.
ships sailed all the time out in to the local ocean, but it was uncelar if any of the ships belonged to pirates
a lot of people thought that their couldn't possibly be any pirates in the year 2017, but still their was 1 little legend... the legend of old jack
a pirate who hadn't actually been successfull with finding any treasure, and because of this, it's said, he wonders around the islands looking for inocent people to capture, and lead him to treasure.
it is also said that once old jack finds some treasure, he will die
and when he dies, he will be eaten by a bunch of little worms. the worms had heard that pirates tasted very good, and so they were dancing in excitement at the idea of eating such an amazing snack. one little worm named enrique fell on his butt, and into a bucket of spinach. he had troube getting out.
So a mother stork sucked him into her mouth and swiftly flew away to feed it to a hila monster.
the storok was also carrying a load of babies, and was having difficulties flying, so she fell
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
into a pile of rainbow coloured marshmallows.
Where the 10 million babies she was carrying, toothless and burbling, gorged themselves on marshmallows until they all became large fluffy baby shaped clouds, floating up, up and away.
the stalk suddenly turned in to a massive chocolate bar and began to melt in the hot, hot, sun.
on the hot, hot sun lived a frog named fredrick william robert joeseph robert, or fredbillybobjoebob for short. he loved to eat clouds, and he was sticking out his tongue to catch the fluffy baby clouds, and staring down, mouth watering, at the chocolate bar melted by his home.
"how I wish I could just go down and grab that chocolate", the frog thought to himself.
just then he looked up and saw an eagle soaring overhead.
he had an idea:
he called to the eagle (because this frog can speak bird language too), and commanded him to fly down and get the chocolate, to bring back to the frog
so down went the eagle, down down down towards the chocolate.
he grabbed it perfectly, then flew back to the frog who was extremely greatful.
"I don't want to share my chocolate, but here... have some of the fluffy clouds" said the frog
rather than being happy, the eagle was furious
how could he have let the frog trick him in to getting the chocolate, then not be allowed any?
he pushed the frog off of the cloud, and pooped giant poops onto him. the dung beetles in the poop thought it was a roller coaster......
they held tight to the floor and braced themselves, as if on the roller coaster. they even screamed!
a bunny rabbit who had been watching the whole thing suddenly walked up and told the beatles that what they were doing is stupid, they wern't on a roller coaster at all
the beetles cried because they were offended by this statement. they began firing laser guns at the rabbit, and screaming previously unknown beetle swearwords.
the gun's lazers were so bright, they were so bright they even melted the sun!
now the world had no warmth, just lots of cold weather, and a little yellow puddle that was once the sun, and the frog's land
Some opertunistic business women made a mad dash to bottle powder and otherwise package as much of the ruened sun as they could to sell to the cold dark world.
"Sunshine! Get your sunshine here!"
Cried one horribly beautiful merchant.
"Scientists discover lack of sun can kill you,"
Shreeked another.
"Buy liquid golden sun and save your life!"
there was a vampire who was very happy about the lack of sun. he went around trying to kill all of the sunshine merchants, but most of them carried garlic............bread. to go with their lasagna. (merchants love lasagna)
the vampire was angry.
he hated garlic, absolutely hated it
but now he wanted blood, and he wanted it fast.
how could he get to the merchants and get what he wanted?
what's not so well known was why vampires were so afraid of garlic
well, acording to legend, vampires wern't always vampires
they were, at 1 time, human like us
anyway, the story goes, that this human man mathew met a witch in the forest 1 day
he complained to her that, unlike other humans, he couldn't speak, and it embarrassed him.
the witch, feeling pity on mathew, told him to taste some of her garlic concotion, but warned him only to eat 1 mouthful, anymore would have severe conciquences
anyway, mathew abliged and ate the garlic,. after, he could talk- and he was so thrilled, he tried more
the witch who had warned him not to have anymore waved her wand and turned him in to a hidious creature known as the vampire.
and so, the legend of the vampire began
it is said that for many years the witch used garlic on humans for spells, and each time, warned them about the conciquences of taking more than 1 mouthful.
but, man after man didn't listen to her advice, and the world soon became a sea of vampires.
that's why vampires don't like garlic. they are afraid if they have more, what it would do to them
A sheepherd standing nearby heard the whole tale and hurried his entire flock, bahing and jostling to the majestrate. They refused to hear his news, demanding that he first wash the barnyard smell from his person. Upon discovering he had a solution to the vampire outbreak however, they brought him in along with his whooly charges.
the sheep found the whole situation quite peculiar, and they were annoyed at not being fed yet. one, a very young lamb said "this isn't fair. i want food, and I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So the little lamb scurried off with no one the wiser and stuck its head into a bucket of unknown slime.
the slime began to bubble strangely
it bubbled, and bubbled, and bubbled, then it bubbled some more
the little lamb tried desperately to take his head out of the slime, but with every move towards the surface, more and more slime would come pouring from the bucket blocking his escape
eventually, left with no other choice, the lamb kicked over the bucket.
in doing so, slime poured everywhere. on the trees, on the grass, on the pavement, on the little lamb. it was everywhere
the lamb tasted the slime, and found that it tasted a lot like mint which honestly surprised him.
meanwhile, the rest of the sheep, unaware of what had happened to 1 of the lambs, were discussing the cure for the vampires
Suddenly, a tiny homer look alike arrived and sucked all the sheep into its mouth like a vacume cleaner before disappearing into a mousehole.
the little mouse child in the mouse hole was quite surprised so that she dropped her little nintendo 3ds on to a fluffy pillow, but realising it was just her friend, she picked up 3ds and continued playing super mario bros. the fat mustached plumber was falling into a pit of lava, but he used his last life to start the level all over. he jumped at a block and got a mushroom, and grew huge. he threw fire balls at some baddies, and beat the level by shoving bowser into the lava.
A wrecking ball came crashing through the tiny dwelling, splattering cheese and peanut butter everywhere.
the 3ds was broken. the screen flickered, the music sputtered, and mario turned purple. and thus, Wario was born.
So the mouse and the other thing that was there jumped on yoshy's back and drums began to play. The little dinosaur ran with his red shoes to some place where he could eat red fruit.
the red fruit was terrified. it begged and cried and screamed, but to no avail.
but the screaming sound wasn't screaming it all.
a swarm of bumblebees had made their nest just above the fruit, and at the sight of the dinosaur, the bumblebees started to attack
"dinosaurs are far better than bumblebees" said the dinosaur, as he gave a mighty roar, followed by a mighty kick scattering unconcious bumblebees everywhere
" and now" he said with a grin. "I can eat the red fruit!"
he did, and the fruit was delicious
" now what?" he wondered. "I'm bored!"
suddenly, a hedgehog came and started eating the bees, regardless of thale stingyness.
the dinosaur got up to walk away, but the hedgehog turned to him and asked him,
" so how'd all these bees get scattered everywhere?"
"Who cares!" said tales, a cute 4 year old fox who could fly. At the moment, he was carrying an ape named Donkey Kong who was eating a banana. They sored high into the air and over a scorpeon and a kitana engaged in mortal combat and a princess with a head shaped like a mushroom. Suddenly becoming tired, tales dropped donkey kong onto a street of rage.
donkey kong spotted a Valuan Airship flying way up overhead, so he decided to call Vyse and Aika to shoot it from the Arcadian Skies with there giant ship cannons.
The ship changed course and made it's way at top speed straight for Trump Towers in which now lived a family of actual moles.
Suddenly realization hit everybody like a thunderbolt. They were all in a giant video game, controlled by an obnoxious five year old named Arnold Schwartzeneggar.
When the bratty five year old realized he was losing, he kicked the crap out of the video game console and demanded his horrible parents buy him a new one which they did along with several more just like it in case he broke it as well, but he got bored and trashed all of them anyhow and incinerated the peaces creating such a huge hole in the ozone layer that everyone on earth vaporized from the toxic fumes. The end.
lol .....or is it...dun...dun...dun......!!!??? On a far off planet called McDonaldsia, lazer-shooting chickens were watching earth, and they decided it was now time to build a....."What's we's buildin' again, George?"
"How the hell should I know!?" squawked George.
Bob (the original talker) shrugged his wings and said, "Yer da boss, boss. you should know, boss."
George rolled his chickeny eyes and glanced at a stack of papers. "Inter-galactic space highway, I think. I haven't read the book in years. But at least all the inhabitants were incinerated by that stupid kid."...
"served them right I say." said a ghost who suddenly appeared to haunt the chickens. The chickens, startled to see it here and now, jumped into a jiant bowl of flower, roled around in it then launched themselves, one by one into a skillet of scalding hot oil.
the oil spatterd everywhere, hitting a nearby gorilla in the face, causing her to scream piercingly.
A manhole opened right under the shreaking creature and she plummeted down, down, down and down some more into a subterranian jungle.
"You stay now." said Tarzan before grabbing a vine and swinging back and forth through the trees.
suddenly from out of the blue, came a flying tin of shortbread cookies
it hovered in the air for a while, before the lid snapped off, and 1 by 1 the cookies flew out of the tin and began to dance in the sky
the lid plummeted from the sky, hitting tarzan in the face
tarzan gave a mighty shreek, and went to grab the lid which had now set it's own course for a group of kangaroos standing at the edge of a cliff
From below the cliff, Ned, a talking gargoyle, was watching all this. He decided he wanted the cookies, so he started trying to catch them with a butterfly net.
Back at the Oasis, a frustrated hotel reservationist was desperately trying to book a stay for the president of nasa.
"as I've expressed several times, mam." Began the clerk trying to keep his cool,
"There is no Magic talking dolphin here. We do however have a lovely beach..." He was cut off by loud talking on the other end. The more he listened the more confused he became. Zombie...tiger...poisoned bbacon and eggs? What was she on about!
the man who worked for nasa was actually planning to take a group of space piglets to mars
he believed that their was life on mars, and wanted to see if piglets would survive in the atmosphere
the door of the oasis opened, and in walked about a dozen piglets
"what?" cried the manager. "now I have to have piglets in my room?"
the oasis hotel (which had suddenly found itself in the wrong story), opened up a new hotel with the same name in another area because the 1 with ociana was full
now it can be in both stories
"That's all for tonight, dearies." Said a grandmother closing the book. A small protest of the feline kind began around her rocking chair where she sat by the fireplace.
"We'll read more about the many adventures of tarzan and the slimy lamb tomorrow. Now its time for bed."
The cats made an awful din. They mued and miaowed and yowled. Richard, a 2 day old kitten who looked like a dog, talked like a dog, walked and acted and even was actually a dog, jumped into her lap and brushed the book open with his paw.
the giant birthday cake that was sitting on the coffee table suddenly spoke
" eat me" said the birthday cake. " you made me, but for who's birthday?"
"mine!" shouted a little brat of a boy called jason who took the cake and ate the whole thing.
it wasn't his birthday but he wanted it anyway
Jason got very sick and started throwing up rainbows everywhere. The kittens ran away in fear, rainbows were a very scary thing.
before they knew what had happened, the kittens ran right in to a labrador puppy called george who was eating from his food bowl
" woof" said george
"meow" said all the kittens at once
"where's my precious kittiens!" screamed jason's mother who suddenly came rushing down the road with a bucket of water in her hand.
"quick run!" said 1 of the kittens. " she has water to squirt us with for being naughty kittens!"
"woof" said george blocking their escape
A tsunami of green mint-flavored slime reared up and covered them all. On it was Mary's little lamb floating peasefully along in a bucket. Ahead was a ship captained by none other than mean old peg legged hook handed one eyed old jack with a parrot on his shoulder. While he arred and yarred away the bird squalked and whistled for more cotton candy. Right then and there, who should pop up out of the greenish goo but not one merchant or two but many and few with sacks on their backs. They desperately clutched on to the ship and bucket all the while shreaking,
"Sunshine. You must buy beautiful, beautiful sun!" and
"You will die! Buy liquid sun or instantly die!"
but the pirate never learned to read write or even speak and he could only reply with yar ar and the occasional yo ho ho, and the lamb tried to say no english but all that they heard were frustrated bahing.
Screaming in fury, the merchants threw the sun6hine into the air. It came falling back down, making every thing a rather lemon-like yellow colour....."And that, my dear children, is how butterflies got their wings." Said old Granny Suzanne-Anne to her grand-children, Li'l Gerdruditha and Li'ller Brunhildaferd.
suddenly a man wearing a crown came hurtling down a mountain, followed by a young woman
"my poor jack!" screamed the woman. " we went up the hill to fetch a pale of water, but you know how it is. jack's so clumsy!"
"no I am not!" cried jack. "I couldn't help falling down the hill, it was covered in banana skins!"
The 2 children, Brunhildaferd and Gertruditha, jumped up and down squealing. nothing exciteing ever happened around there. "lets go collect the banana skins!" cried Gertruditha. "I needed to make a new coat!" So Brunhildaferd and Gertruditha grabbed their Banana Skin picker uppers and they called their dog Pow and ran outside to collect the banana skins. As Pow ran by, he stole jack's crown, then sped away. Jack chased him screaming "give me back my crown you mangy avocado!"
(btw, pow is the dog in Skies of you-probably-know-where-by-now.)
but pow ran on and did not give jack his crown
jack continued to chase him until.... splash, pow didn't see where he was going and ran straight in to a duck pond
the ducks, who had never seen a dog in their pond, all came out and scattered across the landscape. the world was full with the sound of quacking ducks, angry barks from dogs and a screaming jack
Jack got confused and started quacking, and the ducks started screaming, "give me my crown", And the 2 little oddly named grandchildren started barking and Pow started saying "tell another story granny" And everybody was confused. Suddenly, an airship flew overhead, firing cannons. "Damned Valuans!" Shouted Pow, suddenly coming to his senses. "wait....how am I still talking?!"
(so sue me, Sega. I'm stealing your characters. mwa...ha...ha...)
The CEO of sega, which is ages spelled backwards, tapped on Hell Tabby666's shoulder while she was reading this post and about to add an entry of her own. I am Sonic the hedgehog, and I have killed dr robotnic so I could come here and sue you. A chilly dog jumped into his talking mouth and he continued while he chewed.
"Hoo you.." chomp chomp
"guh sheel..." chomp chomp
"eye arackers!" chomp, gulp swallow...belch!
"explain yourself, girl! Or I will turn into super sonic and kick you in the head with my red shoes!"
Well, hell tabby, more often known as Meowzer, looked at him and said: "I, as a Mage of the Silver Moon, am more powerful than you, Sonic, I can cast Eternum, and since you kinda made SOA, you should know that it causes Instant Death (oh the beauty of over powered spells) and so I'll just...."
Her words were cut off by an evil laugh as Ramirez stepped out of the flames and said, "give me the moon crystals or die!" He pulled out his magical sword. Meowzer/hell tabby/silver mage person gasped. The one person who scared her. The only one more powerful. The only other Silvite. "wait, am I Fina now!? Oh god no, please no! I freaking hate Fina."
"no" Said Ramirez, "your that character you made up in that story you made up."
"k," said whoever She was now. "this is getting too damn weird. goodbye." And she beamed out of realitz.
Author's Note: Fina is a very annoying Skies of Arcadia character who is annoying and who should have died a long time ago. Ramirez is the bestest character evers and stuff.
and so it was, that all the users of the zone BBs had a sandwich eating contest, but ate too much making the site explode. all the users tummies became large asteroids that circled the earth. 1 of them suddenly hit, blowing up the earth
luckily by this time scientists had discovered life on mars so everyone who was left flew to mars and lived their on the surface on the planet
One of the people who'd moved to mars, a little 6 year old girl named Skwooblar, had screamed and wailed and wined and...you get the idea.....Till her parents let her bring her dolly, But in a2l that comotion caused by the little brat, several billion people died.
the world was going to be eaten up in a few days, probably.
everyone was so scared
but the giant potato men, who lived on the surface of mars, wern't scared at all and continued going round the planet turning everyone to crispy fries
they even turned the dolly in to a giant fork that started digging in to the ground to pick up the fries and throw them off the surface of the planet
the little girl was upset and screamed some more killing off at least a billion more people
The fork impaled the girl and she shrieked and shrieked some more, She shrieked so much that A Kitten named Mloofort von biggensplein went crazy and started tearing up the planet, even the potato men were afraid of him.
a robot scientist suddenly showed up and said to the kitten that he couldn't continue what he was doing because he was ruining the last remaing place in the world with life on it
but the kitten laughed an evil laugh and opened his mouth and swallowed the scientist whole.
then realising that the scientist had been eaten about a dozen robot cousins swarmed the planet and demanded in robotic voices that the scientist be spat out
But the kitten swallowed them all, and they began tap dancing in his belly, making his stomach jiggle like a bowling ball. (wait, what?) A beard grew all over him and was inhabited by squirrels. "And that, my dear robotic little asparagusses, is how Santa Paws was born." The robotic asparagus mother closed the book and hurled it out of the window, screaming, "Damn you cucumbers!!!!!!!!"
despite his name, santa paws wasn't a dog, at all
santa paws was actually a magical horse which was used in medieval times to make swords.
however, his sword making skills were no longer needed, so a clever magician called the amazing misterio casted a spell of the horse that turned him in to santa
Santa Paws was mad. He wanted to make swords, dammit! So, he took up his prized blade, and went to hunt down misterio.
....
When Santa found him, he pinned him against a wall with the blade against his throat. "take off that spell or die!"
"I would rather die!" roared mysterio as he broke free from the wall, and pushed the blade away
the blade, was very sharp and before mysterio could do much to stop it, the sharp end shot up and hit santa paws in the eye making him bleed
"hahahahahhha!" laughed the evil magician. " and you say you want to make swords?. you say you're a magical horse?. look at you. you're a disgrace. being beaten by a magician.
" I will not, let, you, beat me!" cried santa pause, as he picked up a large rick and through it at the magician.
" a rock?. a harmless rock?", asked mysterio and the rock bounded harmlessly away from the magician's face. " you're gonna have to do better than that!"
"Moons, give me strength!!!" Yelled Santa paws, casting a sacri spell, healing himself. "Now to get rid of him..." The magician, startled at the horse's spell-casting abilities, began to run, knowing that he could kill him now. "MOONS, GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!!!!!!" yelled santa paws, and he cast eternum, impaling mysterio with shards of silver crystal. The magician screamed and fell to the ground. "No! Not here, not now!" He gasped, as he took his final breath, blood pooling around him.
Oh, I forgot to mention....
The spell casting had exhausted Santa Paws so much that he collapsed, gasping for air, and died of utter blahness.
"hahahahaa yes, and now who's a stupid lame horse?"
to make sure that the magician was truly dead, the horse ran him over for good measure, satisfied, he galloped away.
it didn't take him long before he ran in to a group of mice
chocolate mice
talking, chocolate mice
" we used to be real mice", said the biggist of the chocolate mice. "but a wicket witch, esmerelda, turned us in to chocolate mice!. would you turn us back?"
"hmm, " thought the horse. " well I could, but it would be fun if I had al ittle snack."
"No! No! No!!!!!!!!.!!! Don't eat us!" cried the mice. "No no, I didn't mean I'd eat YOU, I meant you'd be my slaves and make me dinner! Lighten up, guys." The mice sighed with relief, and made Santa Paws dinner which made him feel considerably more awake and better. "Now...." He said, with an evil grin. "For dessert!" Santa Paws grabbed the mice and started eating them like popcorn, but luckily, one little mouse named Ooblefellia, or Ooble for short, ran behind Santa Paws, stabbing him with a sharp, magical, blade of grass, and the horse died, collapsing, and landing so heavily that the earth shook, breaking a crater in the ground, revealing a long hidden kingdom where everybody was made of candy and chocolate. Ooble ran happily to join the kingdom, and got married 15 years later to a licorice rat named Squinger.
the magical kingdom of yum yum (the candy kingdom), also contained the jellybean children, jake and james jellybean
these children were very naughty and would run about the kingdom squishing all the adult candy, killing them
(you see, in the magical kingdom of yum yum, everyone was 100 times smaller)
Well, Empress Teodora, a middle-aged woman and the only living human left there, decided she needed to put a stop to these children, so she sent her armada after them, with orders to kill them on sight.
(she's named after somebody from...I'm sure you know)
Teodora offered a million gold peaces to who ever could kill the children
and so, the armada was off in a flash
it didn't take long to find them, they were tormenting an adult lollypop
the leader of the armada crew, wasting no time at all, sent a cannon on to the land which killed the children instantly. also, sadly, it also killed the lollypop
they returned to Teodora and explained what had happened.
she gave them the gold anyway, and told them not to worry, the kingdom was full of lollypops, and 20 was old in lollypop years, it was probably a good thing they killed her anyway, because most lollypops only live to 16 and she was probably fed up of life
Teodora then set them another task, to go and find jelly bean mom and tell her the news about her children
The Armada sped off again, until they came to the jelly bean household. "Excuse me, ma'am" Said Admiral Cupcake-man. "But we have killed your children because they were jerks. Thank you for your time and have a nice life."
"but why?. who do you think you are?" asked jelly bean mom "I have a good mind to kill you!"
"oh I wouldn't do that if I were you," said admeral cupcake man. "I didn't want to kill them, believe me. it was on orders of Teodora. she asked us to."
"that no good woman" said jelly bean mom. " i'll deal with her later, but I still can't believe you listened to her?. why."
(I find it hilarious because it actually reminds me a lot of Skies)
"Because, she threatened to kill all who disobeyed her!" Admiral Cupcake Man yelled.
"And you'd kill innocent children to save your own miserable life!?"
"Yes."
"You sicken me!" With that, jelly bean mom hurled herself at Admiral Cupcake Man, but, being a teeny jelly bean, he simply caught her and ate her.
"MMMM, jelly beans!" he said. " why didn't I eat the children too?."
the door of the jelly bean house was still open so in he went to explore
with no one stopping him, he explored all the rooms looking for more jelly beans to eat
he found loads. a bed made out of jelly beans. chairs made out of jelly beans. the closet was made out of jelly beans
he had a real feast, ending with the front door
completely satisfied, our hero returned to his own house for a rest
But he began to feel very sick, having eaten all those jelly beans, and he had to throw up. Since he had eaten jelly beans, he started to throw up rainbows. He threw up so much that the place was flooded, and everybody magically grew gills and began living in the underwater (well, not water, but y'know what I mean), kingdom.
the underwater kingdom was actually the lost city of atlantis.
rumoured to have existed for years, but never actually found, here it was. in all it's glory. gems on the wall and everything
But the people of Atlantis decided that they didn't care about how beautiful it was, and started taking off all of the gems and sending their unicorn-fishes to sell them on the land so they'd get rich.
the problem was, (as we all know), their wern't many people left on land to sell too (see a few posts above)
so selling the gems actually became a bit of a hassle, and eventually (because of poor sales), the fish abandoned the idea, dropped the gems all over the land, and returned to their kingdom
now, Teodora (who had actually survived the transition), now went about the land picking up the gems and putting them in her pocket.
no one knew why she needed so many gems (she all ready had her wealth), but never the less, their were not many people around to stop her
She was actually collecting the gems, because she knew one would be the sea crystal, which, according to legend, could bring down the Rains of Destroyitude, and that's what Teodora wanted, to destryify things! EVERYTHING!!! (take a guess, where do you think I "borrowed" that idea from?)
it was very hard to find though
among hundreds of gems, only 1 could be the sea crystal
"oh I give up" said Teodora, after the 245th gem turned out not to be it. " this is impossible!"
as she said that however 1 of the gems rose from the pile and landed in her hand
it was glowing a bright blue colour
" this must be it!" she thought. "this is the crystal"
But the crystal wanted it's powers to be used only for good, so it sharpened itself and stabbed itself into her throat.
she barely had time to scream
like a tun of bricks, she fell to the floor, motionless
the crystals she had been collecting were now strewn everywhere across the path
a magical trash bin suddenly came in to view, and used it's life size hand to scoop the crystals, and put them away
once the path was clear, the bin vanished
A person named Galcian walked up and found the body. He said "The Empress is dead!? Now I can be Emperor and bend everybody to my will." He then collapsed into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, grabbed the crystal before it could kill him, and strode to the podium overlooking everything. He said: "If you peasants and slaves and soldiers don't bow to me NOW, I will call the Rains of Destroyitude and kill you all."
fortunately, that unpleasant person was lassoed off the podium and thrown into a smelly, bug ridden swamp and replaced with a guitar headed thing wearing a sombrero, polka dot shorts and shoes that were in actuality 2 huge mountain goats. The shoes began to sing and the head's strings played of their own accord. This then, was their song.
Up the mountain side we go. two smelly neying goats. rusty cans and fishing poles, dirty gym socks full of holes, give me these to eat right now, because we're goats not grazing cows!"
no sooner had they sang the song, they heard a mooing sound coming from directly behind them
they turned, only to see 2 cows.
but these cows wern't grazing
these cows (patsy and daisy), were angry
they had originally come up the mountain to graze, but found that someone (or something), had destroyed all the grassland- so now in sted of eating grass, the cows were standing on a hot pavement, on a hot mountain mooing annoyingly
A Buddha flew in a window and barged its belly through the croud and noisy livestock.
"Make way for royalty!" he said in an unknown language and the prosession began. In marched the king of pop, the queen of soul, the prince of thieves and the queen of avalor?
"Now see here!" a doll with no mouth, no voice and no life began angrily,
"Go back to your own story where you belong!" and charged at the poor queen with a fork made out of tree moss.
"you think you can tell me to just go away?" the queen of avilor was very angry. "I will not return to my story!"
just at that moment, the king of pop (who happened to be the ghost of michael jackson), began to do the moonwalk and sing thriller
"not earth music!" shreeked elena. " not earth music!"
she took her wand, waved it once and commanded stop!
michael stood their motionless
"I turn you all in to ducks!" cried elena waving the wand again
just like that, everyone turned in to ducks
elena cackled, grabbed the ducks, turned to face the empty air and said, " and now it's back to avilor for the best duck rolls ever!"
with that, she gave a mighty laugh, and returned to the kingdom of avilor
The ground tilted sharply and began swaying back and forth. They cried! Or...quacked! It turns out their world was nothing more than a basket which was now being carried by a jolly skipping singing chuckling and bearded leprechaun.
The leprechaun was trying to get home so he could log onto the Zone and post to the board topic called "in a new direction" so he could write out the fate of others, which was his job. He was the "fate writererererrer".
as the leprechaun carried the basket of ducks through a playground, he was hit in the head by a football and fell to the floor dropping the basket
the children rushed over to see what was going on. they were surprised to see a basket of ducks on the ground, lying next to an unconcious leprechaun.
"mommy mommy!" screamed timmy. "come and have a look what we've found?"
timmy's mom walked to where her son was standing. she studdied the ducks, then the leprechaun.
" what you have found," said timmy's mom, " is, and I can't believe i'm saying this, a leprechaun."
she revived the little man and he stood up and took his basket once more.
" I am a leprechaun, who ever revived me does get 3 wishes."
timmy's mother grinned.
"I wish," she started, " that my son timmy had a pet. he's always wanted one."
with that, their was a flash of light and pippin the hamster suddenly came in to view
" a hamster, for me?. thank you mom!"
"2 more wishes, " said the leprechaun.
"I wish, the ducks in the basket you are carrying get a good home."
at once, a duck pond came in to view, and the ducks in the basket flew out 1 by 1 towards the water.
"I needed to hang on to those ducks" mumbled the leprechaun. " oh well, 1 more wish."
"make me a basket of candy!" cried timmy, and the basket, once filled with ducks, now filled with red and green sweets
"thanks!" cried timmy grabbing the basket from the little man
the leprechaun smiled and walked on, without his ducks, and without his basket.
Miles and miles away in antarctica, a snowchild was having a strange conversation with, of all things or persons, the moon. They argued about the number of grains of sand in the whole world. Anoyed, the child fashioned wings for herself, flew up and smashed the moon into dust. Then flew around and around in the dark of the sky laughing, though it sounded exactly like she was coughing up flem, for that was how they laughed in the very cold land of fogs.
Below, a Demon Child in Hell was worried. She had a math test today and she hadn't finished her homework. "To lie, to cheat, or to lyingly chat, that is the question."
Suddenly, A Talking Goldfish walked into the classroom, looked the teacher straight in the eye and said "All your school are belong to us."
(If nobody, ever, at all, ever, gets that reference I will be sad.
The demon child turned into a jumping frog with blue-greenish skin wearing a lada gaga outfit that was too big. "hey teacher!" he croaked. "Let's poke your face, shall we?" Without warning, he runs, pokes her face with a webbed foot and jumps into the pond, laughing all the while.
The golden fish suddenly realizes he's in a classroom and not in a aquarium. He started to cry flooding the classroom with tears.
but these tears were not your average tears.
these tears were magic, and when they hit the ground, they turned to gold.
soon, the classroom was full of bright, shiny, gold peaces, each one bigger than the rest.
Now, this seemed like a great thing at first, but soon nobody in the classroom could move. The gold pieces were too heavy to lift, and the people were all trapped. Fortunately, a...?
magic trash bin suddenly burst through the door and started picking up the gold.
after it had finished that job, it started to pick up all the people in the room
The people discovered that there was a whole new world inside the magic trash bin. The world was mostly inhabited by robotic dragons.
these dragons were an experiment race, to see if in future, people on earth could live as robots, and they were doing pretty well.
with all the trash in the world around them, they were making all sorts of wonderful stuff
cars that run on tin cans, tooth brushes made from rabbit fur, all kinds of devices that worked really well
And if the trash couldn't be used to invent things, it was used as fuel.
The only problem with this situation was that the robots were starting to question their existences. Were they real? What if they only existed to create a perfect world, but would then be destroyed to make room for the humans?